Again, through the wisdom and guidance of Brenda Dickson, we all know that fashion is acquired by looking at a lot of different fashions. To that end, let’s look at some of the recent fashions produced on Project Runway.
Some of the things this season have been fairly cool; some have been outright heinous; and over all I think it’s been hit or miss. This, for example, from Episode 1:
Kelli's Winning Coffee Filter Dress
I love the skirt, and the way Kelli treated the coffee filters with other food products to create that pattern and texture. Fabulous! But then look at the top of the dress: it looks like she just placed a coffee filter over each boob as an afterthought. Not great.
On the whole, it’s a HELL of a lot better than, say, this, from Episode 2:
Jennifer's Surrealist Dress, aka "The Treachery of Satin," aka "Ceci N'est Pas une Robe"
Jennifer did a lot of talking about how she likes very feminine shapes and how she’s influenced by surrealism. In fact, what she said about this heinous number was that it was “Holly Golightly goes to a Salvador Dalí Exhibit.” Yeah, I don’t know either. With EITHER of those influences, the dress should have been a lot better. As it is, it’s just frumpy, unflattering, and poorly constructed.
The dress that won that week was Kenley’s:
Kenley's Winning Dress from the NYC Inspiration Challenge
I am not a fan. It doesn’t honestly look to me that the asymmetrical silhouette is intentional. Frankly, it looks either like the model has a strange deformity of the left hip, or possibly like the purple tulle is desperately trying to escape its psychedelic turquoise prison. “HELP ME,” screams the tulle, “HELLLLP.”
I had really hoped Leanne’s skirt would win that week:
Leanne's Most Excellent Skirt
I love the layers of gray and black, and it’s absolutely something I would wear (though I’d like to add one more layer to the bottom, making it closer to knee length). It looks clean and modern, but also a bit flirty and whimsical. Love.
In Episode 3, the designers had to make an outfit for the U.S. Olympic team to wear as they marched in the opening ceremony. The results were varied and, um, interesting. This one, made below, was definitely one of the worst:
I AM FROM THE REPUBLIC OF COCKTAIL LAND. HA HA HAHAHA.
It was made by Daniel, who really ought to be leaving the show soon. He’s done nothing of much note at all, except of course this one, only noteworthy in its badness. I think it looks a bit like a 1960’s stewardess uniform, but Michael Kors, quipster that he is, claimed it looked like a cocktail dress. “If her sport is drinking, it’s a good dress,” he claimed. Frankly, I do not even think it is a good dress for that.
The look I liked from the Olympics challenge was this sportswear made by Terri:
Terri's All-American Sportswear
I think it looks classic, classy, well fitted, and very American. I just loved it, especially the striped blazer. I was glad the judges recognized her as one of the top three, but I think she should have won. I was NOT feeling either of the other top looks at ALL.
And oh, lord, can we please look at this week’s clothes. In Episode 4, the designers had to create something for Brooke Shields’ character on Lipstick Jungle. It was supposed to be professional, powerful, and translatable from day to night. Now let’s just ask ourselves if ANY of those descriptors apply to the outfit below:
Blayne's Misguided Attempt at Fashionable Shorts
Well, maybe if Brooke Shields is playing a professional, high-powered skateboarder who has to transition between the Venice Beach boardwalk during the day and her nightlife at the swinging smoothie shop down the block. I don’t know; I have never seen Lipstick Jungle, so maybe that is the case.
I would also like to note that, close up, the material those short pants are made of resembles the thick polyester used to make grandfatherly Sans-a-Belt trousers in the late 1970s. NOT PRETTY.
Then, oh-god-oh-god-oh-god, this crime of an outfit perpetrated by Kelli and Daniel:
MY EYES! MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!
This picture of the outfit already looks pretty bad, but you should see it with the jacket off (for when she transitions from day to night). Oh, it is an assault on the senses. Once again, Kelli made a badly designed and poorly constructed bodice that basically looked like two circles of fabric slapped over the model’s tits. The color combination of a strangely luminescent turquoise with the small areas of leopard print was as hideous as anything I could imagine. It literally pained me to look at it. Kors’ take? “SLUTTY SLUTTY SLUTTY.” (And it was.) Of course, Kelli, as the lead designer, was eliminated. Rightfully so, but I did like her, and thought she had some potential (if only she could learn to tailor a bodice correctly).
This look, created by Jerrell and Stella, was my favorite of the night:
Jerrell and Stella's Most Excellent Look, with Leathah!
The mixing of different colors, patterns, and textures is very skillful, and the silhouette is classic and flattering. Shields didn’t like the belt, which may have been what prevented it from winning. Too bad! I could completely see her in this.
The outfit that won was made by Keith and Kenley:
Keith and Kenley's Winning Look from the Lipstick Jungle Challenge
Let me say, I DO really love this skirt. It’s something I would like to wear myself, though I would pair it with a simpler top (black, basic, fitted, sleeveless, I’m thinking). The blouse they have here I could take or leave, but the skirt is elegant and fun and looks quite fashionable indeed. I wasn’t upset that this won, but I was surprised, because I thought Jerrell and Stella’s was simply more impressive.
On that note, please allow me to say that Stella’s presence on the show has been the most entertaining thing this season.
Dear Diary, I've Been Thinking a Lot about Leathah...
She reminds me EXACTLY of a woman I know, who is also hilarious, which may be what made me instantly like her. I think anyone and everyone can appreciate the genius that is Stella, though: She is a focused, determined, single-minded woman of fashion. She is committed to her leathah, and nothing can distract her from it. She is faced with any type of challenge, and she has an immediate answer for it: “I’m gonna put huh in leathah. I’m gonna rip it, teah it, spike it, grawmet it, pyramid it. Awl leathah. Sleek, black leathah.”
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