I just saw 30 Days of Night yesterday, and let me tell you it was a major letdown. It had so much promise! For one thing, look at the graphic awesomeness that is the poster:
As you may know, this is yet another film based on a comic book, and that artistic sensibility surely shows in the poster design. And, um, nowhere else. One might expect some sexy-sexy vampires à la Buffy, Angel, or Interview With the Vampire. One would be disappointed. Oh, sure, maybe the vampires in the original comic aren’t sexy either, but how would I know that? I did not actually read the comic. What am I, some kind of nerd?
At any rate, please note the main vampire dude, depicted below. He basically just looks like some kind of creepy car salesman covered in blood:
That being said, I will admit that all of the other vampires are exceedingly disgusting, scary, and over-the-top gory. They mostly go around the town screeching inhumanly, grunting gutturally, and being covered in congealed blood from the nose downward. All of this makes them frightening indeed, but not in the least bit sexy. Where’s James Marsters in leather when you need him?
Not even the film’s “hero” could muster up any sexiness. Josh Hartnett, beloved by many female viewers (though not particularly so by me) basically seemed resigned and desperate throughout the film:
Weak. I won’t spoil the ending for you, but I will say that it only gets worse from here.
30 Days of Night: altogether too much congealed blood and not enough hot dudes in leather pants. Nice try, Slade, but next time don’t bother.
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