Archive for the 'Film Reviews for Ladies' Category

Film Reviews for Ladies: Once (and Again and Again)

Published
by
Alfina the Vague
on July 11, 2008
in Film, Film Drama, Film Reviews for Ladies, Indie and Music
. 1 Comment

When I saw the Oscars last year, I hadn’t yet seen the movie Once, but I fell a little bit in love with Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova watching them perform and then win the award for their nominated song, “Falling Slowly.”

When I finally got the chance to see the movie a few months ago, my love was absolutely cemented. Today, I saw it again (after buying the DVD for a mere $5, hello awesomness!) and rekindled my affections.

While I am on the record as loathing musicals in general, this is one exception to that rule: the music in this film is not only ridiculously good, but it also fits into the film in a seamless, organic way: it never tries to be clever or theatrical or spectacular; it just lives there.

If you’ve already seen this film, you’ve no doubt fallen in love with it yourself — it’s just that irresistible. If you haven’t yet, may I recommend you do so posthaste! It will tickle all of the romantic and creative nerves you have, making you nostalgic for the days of exchanging mix tapes and having impromptu jam sessions with your friends all nestled in a circle in your living room.

When you watch the scene where they go into the recording studio for the first time, and the snarky, cynical manager hears them perform “When Your Mind’s Made Up,” you might just get a tear (or several) in your eye. If that doesn’t do it for you, try the ending shot where the camera goes out from her apartment window and looks over the street below. And if THAT doesn’t do it for you, then I can’t help. You may want to go see the doctor and find out if your HEART HAS GONE MISSING, you cold bitch!

I am sure I do not need to mention the adorable sexiness of Glen Hansard with his red hair and close-cropped beard and Irish accent and blazer-scarf combo, do I? Well then consider it mentioned. The dude is charming and talented and you will find yourself imagining him perched on the edge of your couch with his worn out guitar and smile lines.

There’s just one important caveat: you absolutely must ignore any knowledge of the fact that he and Marketa Irglova are a real-life couple, and how much older he is than she is, and how young she was when they met. That might kind of skeeve you out a bit, so just forget I said anything about it.

Here are a couple of my favorite songs from the film, the first of which won the Oscar. Go ahead and listen to them at least once:

Falling Slowly


<br /> <bgsound src="http://media.zemblangrammar.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/fallingslowly.mp3"><br />

When Your Mind’s Made Up


<br /> <bgsound src="http://media.zemblangrammar.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/mindsmadeup.mp3"><br />

Film Reviews for Ladies: Lars and the Real Real Girls

Published
by
Alfina the Vague
on May 4, 2008
in Comedy, Film, Film Drama, Film Reviews for Ladies and Uncategorized
. 4 Comments

Lars and the Real Girl will be a hard review to write in the mode of “Film Reviews for Ladies,” because a FRFL is usually a bit tongue-in-cheek and tends toward the superficial. While you might think that a film about a looserish guy who falls in love with a sex doll would have all the makings for “tongue in cheek” (and, ewww, elsewhere!) and “superficial,” this movie manages to be very earnest and probing (ew! no pun intended! sorry! eww, sorry!).

Now that I have hopefully gotten all the grody sex puns out of my system, maybe I can go on with talking about the movie. Let’s talk stars, shall we? The eternally-beloved-by-my-female-students Ryan Gosling stars as Lars, but he is certainly no heartthrob in this movie with his greasy hair, unironic moustache, and quiet, slump-shouldered desperation. The only positive thing about him we can see in the beginning is that he has great taste in Scandinavian sweaters. I do love good Danish knitwear.

Bianca, pictured above with Lars, is the Real Girl in question. If you don’t know about Real Girls Dolls, go check out their website. Go on, I’ll wait.

So now you see what Lars has gotten into in the film. I won’t waste too much time or reveal too much here, but the whole play on the word “real” in the title is at the center of his relationship with the doll Bianca and with others around him. One of said others is Margo, played by Kelli Garner, pictured below. She’s the real real girl, and confronted with Bianca’s synthetically perfect body, face, and hair — a “Real Girl” who never needs to eat, never smells bad, never farts, and has a personality constructed by other people’s vision of ideal femininity — Margo wavers between Lars’s quiet desperation and a naïve cheerfulness of her own. Also, she is totally cute, a good bowler, and has those silly plastic barrettes everyone wore in elementary school.

Another real real girl in the move is Karin, played ably by the adorable Emily Mortimer, whom I liked in Match Point and loved in Dear Frankie. Her fake American accent is not even annoying!

Patricia Clarkson co-stars as Dagmar (alert! awesome name!), the general practitioner who begins giving Lars therapy sessions, mostly unbeknownst to him. She is one of my favorite characters — she gently and cleverly manipulates Lars into talking about the things that matter in his obsession with Bianca, and they have some of the film’s most touching scenes together.

Over all, it’s quite a lovely movie, and — in spite of the Real Girl — manages to be something of a triumph for real real girls everywhere.

Film Reviews for Ladies: 30 Days of Nasty

Published
by
Alfina the Vague
on April 7, 2008
in Film, Film Reviews for Ladies and Horror
. 7 Comments

I just saw 30 Days of Night yesterday, and let me tell you it was a major letdown. It had so much promise! For one thing, look at the graphic awesomeness that is the poster:

As you may know, this is yet another film based on a comic book, and that artistic sensibility surely shows in the poster design. And, um, nowhere else. One might expect some sexy-sexy vampires à la Buffy, Angel, or Interview With the Vampire. One would be disappointed. Oh, sure, maybe the vampires in the original comic aren’t sexy either, but how would I know that? I did not actually read the comic. What am I, some kind of nerd?

At any rate, please note the main vampire dude, depicted below. He basically just looks like some kind of creepy car salesman covered in blood:

That being said, I will admit that all of the other vampires are exceedingly disgusting, scary, and over-the-top gory. They mostly go around the town screeching inhumanly, grunting gutturally, and being covered in congealed blood from the nose downward. All of this makes them frightening indeed, but not in the least bit sexy. Where’s James Marsters in leather when you need him?

Not even the film’s “hero” could muster up any sexiness. Josh Hartnett, beloved by many female viewers (though not particularly so by me) basically seemed resigned and desperate throughout the film:

Weak. I won’t spoil the ending for you, but I will say that it only gets worse from here.

30 Days of Night: altogether too much congealed blood and not enough hot dudes in leather pants. Nice try, Slade, but next time don’t bother.

Film Reviews for Ladies: Leatherheads (And Featherheads!)

Published
by
Alfina the Vague
on April 6, 2008
in Comedy, Film and Film Reviews for Ladies
. 5 Comments

Just came home from seeing Leatherheads, the new George Clooney screwball/football comedy, which was quite entertaining.

Luckily, not much knowledge of football required. I get my football knowledge, meager as it is, from Friday Night Lights, and if you watch that show then you already know that a person ain’t going to learn much about the game from it.

Leatherheads, luckily, is all about the witty banter and fabulous clothes: two areas in which I consider myself no slouch. Witness here the always adorable John Krasinski, who has always been my boyfriend, but is even moreso now that I have been made aware of his involvement in this. (OMG!!!) Please to enjoy his dapper vest and winning smile.

Clooney also looked fabulous - can I tell you how much I covet this brown leather jacket?

But, for me, the real star of the show was Zellweger’s amazing collection of hats and coats. Not only the fab outfit she is wearing on the back of the bike above, but the extremely excellent ensemble below. I think I might murder a person for that hat!

The hat she’s wearing in her first scene is incredibly amazing, with an ostentatious feather jutting out at a rakish angle. Unfortunately, that’s its only scene as she leaves it behind. Couldn’t find any pictures of it, so you’ll just have to go see the film yourself.