I’m catching Ingrid Bergman night on TCM. Just saw Casablanca, which I had the good fortune to flip to just in time for the moving “La Marseillaise” scene, and now it’s Bergman + Hitchcock in Notorious. HELLS YEAH. (Her people? Also Nordic.)
Author Archive for Alfina the Vague
Well, it turns out that I do not have terribly many thoughts and opinions about the latest Project Runway show, in which the designers were challenged to create new gowns for a bunch of fabulous drag queens.
I missed the judges commentary because during the show I was talking to one friend on the couch with me and another friend on the phone, but I gathered that the judges really liked Terri’s geisha-style outfit, although it didn’t win.
The hell? I’m sorry, I know this photo looks pretty fierce, but that is really just because the photographer captured a fierce pose. Coming down the runway that thing looked like a complete disaster. I wasn’t terribly impressed with the winning design either, but, like I said, I just didn’t have a lot to say about this runway show. I’ll be happier when they are back to designing the high-fashion gowns and such.
Drag queens are fun, but they are more fun when you go see their live shows and dance and drink and smoke cigarettes with them afterwards. I miss the drag queens of Zembla, basically.
Anyway, what did you think of the show?
This week’s episode of Mad Men was another brilliant one! Scads of interesting developments in the Draper and Olson households took place, as well as plenty of intriguing business at Sterling Cooper, too. I won’t say too much about any of that.
Instead, I’ll show you some of my favorite items from the show again. What I wouldn’t give for fifteen minutes on their set, all alone, with a BIG DUFFEL BAG. (A fashionable, 1960s duffel bag, of course.)
Here are Don and Betty, awakened by a Sunday-morning phone call (how rude):
This Phone is Very Fashionable
Please to note Betty’s typically lovely sleepwear, but also please note how the pretty aqua-blue phone matches their tufted velvet headboard. Very nice indeed.
Below is a still from yet another scene where Don’s daughter, Sally, is mixing him a drink:
Little Sally Draper, Future Bartender
The gold-leafed glass is very nice and all, but I mainly wanted to point out the amount of vodka being poured. The glass is almost full. That’s the way to make a Bloody Mary on a Sunday morning, I am saying.
Sally isn’t the only Draper skilled in the culinary arts, of course. Here’s Don:
Don Draper Makes Pancakes
Ignoring the slightly unflattering high-waisted trousers he’s sporting, let’s just appreciate this electric pancake griddle. My dad used one just like it when I was growing up — ours had interchangeable plates, so you could use it for waffles, too.
And, OMG, this one is my favorite. You guys know how I feel about both Vincent Kartheiser and his character, Pete Campbell, right?
Pete Wears Short Pants
Well then IMAGINE MY FUCKING GLEE when Pete stands up to present some information at this last-minute Sunday meeting in the Sterling Cooper boardroom, only to reveal that he is wearing some JUST DARLING tiny white tennis shorts that barely cover his frank and beans? Any humiliation Pete suffers on this show is nothing short of excellent.
Speaking of franks and beans, Old Sterling here seems to be recovered enough from his past heart attacks, as evidenced by his apparent plans to put the frank back in action with this prostitute, Vicky:
This Hooker is Also Very Fashionable
How much do I love Vicky’s dress, necklace, and nail polish? LOTS. I mean, I never thought I’d be using a prostitute as a fashion example, but sometimes life is unpredictable, you know?
I have plenty of opinions about the annoying, klutzy little Bobby Draper:
Bobby Has a Robot
But I will restrict myself to commenting on his awesomely cool red robot toy. Nice robot, kid!
And finally, I loved this scene of the Sterling Cooper team ready for their meeting with the big client:
The Sterling Cooper Team Would Like to Offer You a Bloody Mary
Everyone is outfitted perfectly, standing up straight, and ready to get shit done. That is what I like in people. Also, they seem to have a giant pitcher of Bloody Marys there on the table. I like that in people, too.
Are the Olympic games over yet? If not, when will they be over? Is it soon? Please let it be soon.
Remember when the Olympics only happened every four years? Well now, since they’ve staggered the winter and summer games, they’re on every TWO years. They may as well be on every week, if you ask me. And yet, people will still be all, “OH, but they ONLY COME ON EVERY FOUR YEARS!” Patently untrue.
And damn, when the Olympics are on, they are on ALL THE FUCKING TIME. All day and all night, it’s just Olympics, Olympics, Olympics. It never freaking ends. If it isn’t swimming, gymnastics, track, synchronized diving (yes, this is a real event), it’s that damned beach volleyball, which appears to run twenty-four hours a day, and — let’s face it — is more of a bikini contest than an actual sport. Do not tell me they need to wear skimpy two-pieces for better athletic performance.
I will tell you the only good thing about the Olympics: the beautiful, soothing blue color of the swimming pools. It’s really a nice color.
Cool Blue Cube, Just the Way I Like to See It: Empty
Other than that shade of blue, the Olympics can suck it. There, I said it.
Again, through the wisdom and guidance of Brenda Dickson, we all know that fashion is acquired by looking at a lot of different fashions. To that end, let’s look at some of the recent fashions produced on Project Runway.
Some of the things this season have been fairly cool; some have been outright heinous; and over all I think it’s been hit or miss. This, for example, from Episode 1:
Kelli's Winning Coffee Filter Dress
I love the skirt, and the way Kelli treated the coffee filters with other food products to create that pattern and texture. Fabulous! But then look at the top of the dress: it looks like she just placed a coffee filter over each boob as an afterthought. Not great.
On the whole, it’s a HELL of a lot better than, say, this, from Episode 2:
Jennifer's Surrealist Dress, aka "The Treachery of Satin," aka "Ceci N'est Pas une Robe"
Jennifer did a lot of talking about how she likes very feminine shapes and how she’s influenced by surrealism. In fact, what she said about this heinous number was that it was “Holly Golightly goes to a Salvador Dalí Exhibit.” Yeah, I don’t know either. With EITHER of those influences, the dress should have been a lot better. As it is, it’s just frumpy, unflattering, and poorly constructed.
The dress that won that week was Kenley’s:
Kenley's Winning Dress from the NYC Inspiration Challenge
I am not a fan. It doesn’t honestly look to me that the asymmetrical silhouette is intentional. Frankly, it looks either like the model has a strange deformity of the left hip, or possibly like the purple tulle is desperately trying to escape its psychedelic turquoise prison. “HELP ME,” screams the tulle, “HELLLLP.”
I had really hoped Leanne’s skirt would win that week:
Leanne's Most Excellent Skirt
I love the layers of gray and black, and it’s absolutely something I would wear (though I’d like to add one more layer to the bottom, making it closer to knee length). It looks clean and modern, but also a bit flirty and whimsical. Love.
In Episode 3, the designers had to make an outfit for the U.S. Olympic team to wear as they marched in the opening ceremony. The results were varied and, um, interesting. This one, made below, was definitely one of the worst:
I AM FROM THE REPUBLIC OF COCKTAIL LAND. HA HA HAHAHA.
It was made by Daniel, who really ought to be leaving the show soon. He’s done nothing of much note at all, except of course this one, only noteworthy in its badness. I think it looks a bit like a 1960’s stewardess uniform, but Michael Kors, quipster that he is, claimed it looked like a cocktail dress. “If her sport is drinking, it’s a good dress,” he claimed. Frankly, I do not even think it is a good dress for that.
The look I liked from the Olympics challenge was this sportswear made by Terri:
Terri's All-American Sportswear
I think it looks classic, classy, well fitted, and very American. I just loved it, especially the striped blazer. I was glad the judges recognized her as one of the top three, but I think she should have won. I was NOT feeling either of the other top looks at ALL.
And oh, lord, can we please look at this week’s clothes. In Episode 4, the designers had to create something for Brooke Shields’ character on Lipstick Jungle. It was supposed to be professional, powerful, and translatable from day to night. Now let’s just ask ourselves if ANY of those descriptors apply to the outfit below:
Blayne's Misguided Attempt at Fashionable Shorts
Well, maybe if Brooke Shields is playing a professional, high-powered skateboarder who has to transition between the Venice Beach boardwalk during the day and her nightlife at the swinging smoothie shop down the block. I don’t know; I have never seen Lipstick Jungle, so maybe that is the case.
I would also like to note that, close up, the material those short pants are made of resembles the thick polyester used to make grandfatherly Sans-a-Belt trousers in the late 1970s. NOT PRETTY.
Then, oh-god-oh-god-oh-god, this crime of an outfit perpetrated by Kelli and Daniel:
MY EYES! MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!
This picture of the outfit already looks pretty bad, but you should see it with the jacket off (for when she transitions from day to night). Oh, it is an assault on the senses. Once again, Kelli made a badly designed and poorly constructed bodice that basically looked like two circles of fabric slapped over the model’s tits. The color combination of a strangely luminescent turquoise with the small areas of leopard print was as hideous as anything I could imagine. It literally pained me to look at it. Kors’ take? “SLUTTY SLUTTY SLUTTY.” (And it was.) Of course, Kelli, as the lead designer, was eliminated. Rightfully so, but I did like her, and thought she had some potential (if only she could learn to tailor a bodice correctly).
This look, created by Jerrell and Stella, was my favorite of the night:
Jerrell and Stella's Most Excellent Look, with Leathah!
The mixing of different colors, patterns, and textures is very skillful, and the silhouette is classic and flattering. Shields didn’t like the belt, which may have been what prevented it from winning. Too bad! I could completely see her in this.
The outfit that won was made by Keith and Kenley:
Keith and Kenley's Winning Look from the Lipstick Jungle Challenge
Let me say, I DO really love this skirt. It’s something I would like to wear myself, though I would pair it with a simpler top (black, basic, fitted, sleeveless, I’m thinking). The blouse they have here I could take or leave, but the skirt is elegant and fun and looks quite fashionable indeed. I wasn’t upset that this won, but I was surprised, because I thought Jerrell and Stella’s was simply more impressive.
On that note, please allow me to say that Stella’s presence on the show has been the most entertaining thing this season.
Dear Diary, I've Been Thinking a Lot about Leathah...
She reminds me EXACTLY of a woman I know, who is also hilarious, which may be what made me instantly like her. I think anyone and everyone can appreciate the genius that is Stella, though: She is a focused, determined, single-minded woman of fashion. She is committed to her leathah, and nothing can distract her from it. She is faced with any type of challenge, and she has an immediate answer for it: “I’m gonna put huh in leathah. I’m gonna rip it, teah it, spike it, grawmet it, pyramid it. Awl leathah. Sleek, black leathah.”
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